dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
