can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
