I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
