what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
