No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
