I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize