I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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