Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
