so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
being pregnant is like rehab
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
