I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize