God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
