There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
