are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
