Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
