my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
