Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
