I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
