in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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