my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize