Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You were trust falling into bushes
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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