you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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