guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I am midnight drunk by noon
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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