If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
