Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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