I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
