Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Mom said you looked used
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
