i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
