Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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