Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
