my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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