jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Randomize
