i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
