S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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