Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
