I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
