your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
