I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
