Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize