Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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