we're blogging at a bar
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
