No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
