remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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