ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
