I got chris browned last night
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
