I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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