im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
