I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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