I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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