I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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