Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
