please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
