On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
