I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
