I heard we made out
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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