I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
