This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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