the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
