i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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