do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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