You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
