question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
