when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
