Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
